My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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