man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
