Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Randomize
