flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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