You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
