The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
