I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize