i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
