Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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