if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
