I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
