So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
