I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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