That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
