Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
