We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
