I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
