Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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