Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
