wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You're a waste of cheezeits
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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