My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
