after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
