i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
