with your own penis?
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
