why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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