Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
