I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Randomize
