drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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