My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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