Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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