Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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