Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
