Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
