I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Randomize
