Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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