VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I have post one night stand depression
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
