Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
