dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
