Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I don't deserve a penis
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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