I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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