Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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