I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
