Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
