I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
