Plan B is the new Plan A
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
