Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
