she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
