so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize