Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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