whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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