And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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