Dual....:-)
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize