You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
