so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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