Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
