is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
