i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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