Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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