I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
