Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize